All I have to do
.

The world is right here
on your fingers
on your toes
with your hands up
are you waiting to see the next tree
to plant one is not for free
no it costs three
but I am planting one by the sea
maybe she’ll grow up to be just like me
and why
with the world in front of me
how lonely
when everything is available to learn
it’s a jungle
so I have to discern
which way to go next
which turn
which lane
I already know
I am insane
what is there to worry about
when all I have to do is liking myself
no matter what feelings that may arise
feelings are the spice in this device
called a computer brain
all the veins pump electrical signals
to inform my cells
a sinister place where my emotion dwells
I encounter spells of the past
outcast from the winter scene
I don’t even remember where I’ve been
but I can recall a smell
put some lighting on and I remember it well
but I didn’t want to know
so I forget again
and I say it’s ok to shut down locket
ten feet down
cause I had to
all that pain was pumping
like fireworks going off inside my pocket
coming home after all that fiery rain
all that is left is the shame
that is stained on me like a waterproof marker
shoulders up and head down
I look in the mirror to wipe out my frown
but I look past my own eyes
liking myself is like loving the lies
that flies out when I put on my brave face
covering up my scars
my disgrace
did you notice that I was avoiding your gaze
into my souls shuttered windows
I was looking out anywhere the wind blows
is where I might be staying
you might find me under that tree
you’ll find me swaying
praying
that I will like what I am and what I’m not
until then I am staying on that spot
waving like a tree
all I have to do is to like me.

.
.

-detonatord